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    Mika Shiratori

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    Mika



    Posts : 16
    Join date : 2015-09-15
    Age : 22

    Mika Shiratori

    Post by Mika on Tue Sep 15, 2015 6:01 pm

    In-Site Information:

    General Information:
    Name: Mika Shiratori
    Nickname: N/A
    Age + Birthday: 19 + July 15th
    Species: Angel
    Species Ability/Perk: Flight: The angel wings on her back give her the passive ability to fly. She can go as high as 10 feet and fly for a total of 3 posts at a time. She can fly at speeds of 15 MPH. Her wings are retractable, they are able to disappear into her body and come out when she wants them to.
    Special/Unique Characteristics: A pair of pure white angel wings. Dimensions of wings are  9 feet wide and 7 feet tall.

    Character Depth:
    Personality:
    Mika is quite simple minded, often being called an airhead. She enjoys the simple things in life but due to her carefree personality, most people don't see her intelligence for what it really is. Mika has a very pure air about her that comes from being born an angel. Mika is extremely stubborn and most of the time, set in her ways, making her hard to persuade into changing her mind about something. Mika likes to do things her own way and hates it when people try to spoil or ruin her good times. She does as she pleases and doesn't really consider the consequences until they are put into action, which often causes her to regret what she did. Mika is not easily deterred from her goals, she'll always do her best to see something she's motivated about through to the end. Mika is somewhat of a glutton when it comes to sweets, she loves any kind of cookie, cake, candy, you name a sweet, and it will be something this girl will devour if put in front of her. Mika is a notorious flirt with any guy she considers to be "hot". She'll be on them like donkey kong, doing any and everything she can to get their attention focused on her. Mika has much confidence in her appearance, so it really hurts her pride when someone doesn't think she's pretty or even cute. This girl can pout like nobody' business when something doesn't go her way. Mika's most redeeming quality would have to be her willingness to forgive people. In her eyes, anyone who truly regrets what they have done wrong, is worthy of forgiveness.

    Mika always takes her battles seriously. She likes to taunt her enemies but will not fall for an enemy's taunt. She does not let her emotions affect her during battle and is merciless towards her enemies. She is not one to let those who hurt others get away with it. Mika prefers being a leader rather than being led. Mika usually just goes with the flow of the battle, making her more unpredictable to her enemies.
    Likes:
    - Sweets
    Mika is a glutton for sweets. Any type of cookie, cake, or anything else she will gobble down if put in front of her.
    - Cute Things
    Mika can't help but love things that are cute. This goes for little accessories, trinkets, and also stuffed animals.
    - Animals
    Mika has a soft spot for pretty much all animals, she also has enact for being able to make friends with even the most vicious of animals.

    Dislikes:
    - Rude People
    Being raised by humans after falling to earth, Mika was taught to always be respectful so it comes to be that she can't stand people who no respect for other people.
    - Bugs
    For some reason, Mika hates most bugs, she tends to find them just plain creepy and usually steers clear of them whenever possible.
    - Having her fun spoiled
    Mika hates to have her fun ruined by other people. She likes to do as she pleases and if people don't like what she's doing, they usually try to stop her, which can easily set her off.

    Fears:
    - Demons
    Her fear of demons comes from how her earth family was slaughtered by them.
    - Thunder
    The demons who killed her earth family attacked them on the night of an awful thunder storm, which usually brings up traumatizing memories for her whenever she hears it.
    - Corpses
    Mika fears corpses, mainly because she saw her earth parent's corpses the night they were brutally killed.

    Motivations/Goals:
    - To Become Stronger
    Mika wishes to becomes stronger in order to avenge her earth family's death.
    - To Conquer her fears
    She wants to conquer her fears, so she will be able to exact her revenge on the demons who took her only family from her.
    - To Find true love
    Mika is a very romantic type of person, so she would want to eventually find someone to share her life with.

    Appearance:
    Hair: Platinum Blonde
    Eyes: Blue
    Skin Tone: Light
    Height: 5'5"
    Weight: 110 Lbs
    Overall Appearances:
    How Mika looks:

    Other:
    Rank: D
    Guild: Blue Pegasus
    Guild Tattoo Left side of cleavage


    Last edited by Mika on Mon Sep 21, 2015 10:44 pm; edited 4 times in total
    avatar
    Bacon



    Posts : 577
    Join date : 2015-03-08

    Re: Mika Shiratori

    Post by Bacon on Tue Sep 15, 2015 6:27 pm

    Hello there!
    When and if done, please post in Help Desk and a mod/administrator will look it over.
    Thanks!~ ^-^
    avatar
    Kosovo Misogi



    Posts : 55
    Join date : 2015-06-03

    Re: Mika Shiratori

    Post by Kosovo Misogi on Tue Sep 15, 2015 10:22 pm

    Corrections will be made in RED. Please do not fight me on this.

    Mika wrote:
    In-Site Information:

    General Information:
    Name: Mika Shiratori
    Nickname: N/A
    Age + Birthday: 19 + July 15th
    Species: Angel
    Species Ability/Perk: Flight: The angel wings on her back give her the passive ability to fly. She can go as high as 10 feet and fly for a total of 3 posts at a time Need more details. Are they retractable into nothingness, or are they always there in some shape or fashion. Also how fast can you fly, this is important to not break this ability.
    Special/Unique Characteristics: A pair of pure white angel wings

    Character Depth:
    Personality:
    Mika is quite simple minded, often being called an airhead. She enjoys the simple things in life but due to her carefree personality, most people don't see her intelligence for what it really is. Mika has a very pure air about her that comes from being born an angel. Mika is extremely stubborn and most of the time, set in her ways, making her hard to persuade into changing her mind about something. Mika likes to do things her own way and hates it when people try to spoil or ruin her good times. She does as she pleases and doesn't really consider the consequences until they are put into action, which often causes her to regret what she did. Mika is not easily deterred from her goals, she'll always do her best to see something she's motivated about through to the end. Mika is somewhat of a glutton when it comes to sweets, she loves any kind of cookie, cake, candy, you name a sweet, and it will be something this girl will devour if put in front of her. Mika is a notorious flirt with any guy she considers to be "hot". She'll be on them like donkey kong, doing any and everything she can to get their attention focused on her. Mika has much confidence in her appearance, so it really hurts her pride when someone doesn't think she's pretty or even cute. This girl can pout like nobody' business when something doesn't go her way. Mika's most redeeming quality would have to be her willingness to forgive people. In her eyes, anyone who truly regrets what they have done wrong, is worthy of forgiveness.

    In the heat of battle, Mika goes from a carefree, gluttonous airhead, to a fierce fighter. She lets go of all other qualities and becomes solely focused on the battle in front of her. She doesn't really think ahead, and jut charges into battle. She feels if she plans out her attacks, it could allow an enemy to predict her actions and cause her to fail and be defeated. Despite all this, Mika will occasionally throw out a taunt or two to her enemies and rarely falls for them herself but still does on certain occasions.

    This is to all these lists, you need to explain these within sentences please.
    Likes:
    - Sweets
    - Cute Things
    - Animals

    Dislikes:
    - Rude People
    - Bugs
    - Having her fun spoiled

    Fears:
    - Demons
    - Thunder
    - Corpses

    Motivations/Goals:
    - To Become Stronger
    - To Conquer her fears
    - To Find true love

    Appearance:
    Hair: Platinum Blonde
    Eyes: Blue
    Skin Tone: Light
    Height: 5'5"
    Weight: 110 Lbs
    Overall Appearances:
    How Mika looks:

    Other:
    Rank: D
    Guild: Blue Pegasus
    Guild Tattoo Left side of cleavage




    Mika



    Posts : 16
    Join date : 2015-09-15
    Age : 22

    Re: Mika Shiratori

    Post by Mika on Wed Sep 16, 2015 3:16 pm

    Bumpity~
    avatar
    Kosovo Misogi



    Posts : 55
    Join date : 2015-06-03

    Re: Mika Shiratori

    Post by Kosovo Misogi on Wed Sep 16, 2015 8:04 pm

    Mika wrote:
    In-Site Information:

    General Information:
    Name: Mika Shiratori
    Nickname: N/A
    Age + Birthday: 19 + July 15th
    Species: Angel
    Species Ability/Perk: Flight: The angel wings on her back give her the passive ability to fly. She can go as high as 10 feet and fly for a total of 3 posts at a time. She can fly at speeds of 15 MPH. Her wings are retractable, they are able to disappear into her body and come out when she wants them to.
    Special/Unique Characteristics: A pair of pure white angel wings

    Character Depth:
    Personality:
    Mika is quite simple minded, often being called an airhead. She enjoys the simple things in life but due to her carefree personality, most people don't see her intelligence for what it really is. Mika has a very pure air about her that comes from being born an angel. Mika is extremely stubborn and most of the time, set in her ways, making her hard to persuade into changing her mind about something. Mika likes to do things her own way and hates it when people try to spoil or ruin her good times. She does as she pleases and doesn't really consider the consequences until they are put into action, which often causes her to regret what she did. Mika is not easily deterred from her goals, she'll always do her best to see something she's motivated about through to the end. Mika is somewhat of a glutton when it comes to sweets, she loves any kind of cookie, cake, candy, you name a sweet, and it will be something this girl will devour if put in front of her. Mika is a notorious flirt with any guy she considers to be "hot". She'll be on them like donkey kong, doing any and everything she can to get their attention focused on her. Mika has much confidence in her appearance, so it really hurts her pride when someone doesn't think she's pretty or even cute. This girl can pout like nobody' business when something doesn't go her way. Mika's most redeeming quality would have to be her willingness to forgive people. In her eyes, anyone who truly regrets what they have done wrong, is worthy of forgiveness.

    In the heat of battle, Mika goes from a carefree, gluttonous airhead, to a fierce fighter. She lets go of all other qualities and becomes solely focused on the battle in front of her. She doesn't really think ahead, and jut charges into battle. She feels if she plans out her attacks, it could allow an enemy to predict her actions and cause her to fail and be defeated. Despite all this, Mika will occasionally throw out a taunt or two to her enemies and rarely falls for them herself but still does on certain occasions.

    Likes:
    - Sweets
    Mika is a glutton for sweets. Any type of cookie, cake, or anything else she will gobble down if put in front of her.
    - Cute Things
    Mika can't help but love things that are cute. This goes for little accessories, trinkets, and also stuffed animals.
    - Animals
    Mika has a soft spot for pretty much all animals, she also has enact for being able to make friends with even the most vicious of animals.

    Dislikes:
    - Rude People
    Being raised by humans after falling to earth, Mika was taught to always be respectful so it comes to be that she can't stand people who no respect for other people.
    - Bugs
    For some reason, Mika hates most bugs, she tends to find them just plain creepy and usually steers clear of them whenever possible.
    - Having her fun spoiled
    Mika hates to have her fun ruined by other people. She likes to do as she pleases and if people don't like what she's doing, they usually try to stop her, which can easily set her off.

    Fears:
    - Demons
    Her fear of demons comes from how her earth family was slaughtered by them.
    - Thunder
    The demons who killed her earth family attacked them on the night of an awful thunder storm, which usually brings up traumatizing memories for her whenever she hears it.
    - Corpses
    Mika fears corpses, mainly because she saw her earth parent's corpses the night they were brutally killed.

    Motivations/Goals:
    - To Become Stronger
    Mika wishes to becomes stronger in order to avenge her earth family's death.
    - To Conquer her fears
    She wants to conquer her fears, so she will be able to exact her revenge on the demons who took her only family from her.
    - To Find true love
    Mika is a very romantic type of person, so she would want to eventually find someone to share her life with.

    Appearance:
    Hair: Platinum Blonde
    Eyes: Blue
    Skin Tone: Light
    Height: 5'5"
    Weight: 110 Lbs
    Overall Appearances:
    How Mika looks:

    Other:
    Rank: D
    Guild: Blue Pegasus
    Guild Tattoo Left side of cleavage




    avatar
    Zed The Workaholic



    Posts : 196
    Join date : 2015-09-07

    Re: Mika Shiratori

    Post by Zed The Workaholic on Sat Sep 19, 2015 11:06 pm

    Hello there, I see you have been approved, that is great, however it is time for the second grading which will be assessed by myself. What this second grading does is finalizes your app so you can go post and be social. There is however something I will mention as of right now, do note that none of these are to attack you, it is simply just following the site's common assessment. Please try not to argue or anything else as explained before I am simply grading this like I would grade any other app now then your final grading!

    Species and Abilities Perks:
    Flight, while there is nothing really completely wrong with this entirely it lacks depth as it is still vague, I only ask you go into a bit more detail such as the dimensions of the wing span, please be aware wings actually are pretty heavy so making them too large will cause some serious weight issues, so please be reasonable.

    Special Unique Characteristic:
    You painted a vague picture of the wings, they are white. . .alright, but what are the dimensions, unfurled and furled. Things like that but just saying. "A pair of pure white angel wings" Is kind of vague as it doesn't give the overall size or width and dimensions if you look into this and fix this then you should be all set here.

    Personality:
    Honestly this is just my opinion in this situation, your personality paints a good picture for your personality however it would be better to put a little more, I see you went past the overall word count but it is still minimal work, this is completely optional to add more to it or not but it wouldn't hurt. As for this part. "In the heat of battle, Mika goes from a carefree, gluttonous airhead, to a fierce fighter. She lets go of all other qualities and becomes solely focused on the battle in front of her. She doesn't really think ahead, and jut charges into battle. She feels if she plans out her attacks, it could allow an enemy to predict her actions and cause her to fail and be defeated. Despite all this, Mika will occasionally throw out a taunt or two to her enemies and rarely falls for them herself but still does on certain occasions. " You realize you basically stated that your character goes straight into battle without thinking making her a tank which also means not good with blocking and dodging but going straight through it, I might advise this not be the best idea but that is up to you. But this is practically what this personality in battle is explaining.

    Likes/Dislikes/Fears/Motivs:
    Okay your character likes this, dislikes this, fears that, has motivs for this. . .but why? Honestly it would help to understand what makes your character a character, if you just say "Sweets
    Mika is a glutton for sweets. Any type of cookie, cake, or anything else she will gobble down if put in front of her." It kind of is vague please go into explanation as to why sweets are so good to her what made her like sweets, now is this really needed no, but it is optional so I will put that out there, I would prefer if you did but if you don't, no worries, it honestly would help with Character Development with other users, but that is just my opinion. It is completely up to you.

    Appearance:
    Honestly this is fine, do I wish there was explanation on your character's image? Yes but it really isn't needed so this is fine.

    Other:
    This is fine

    Overall Opinon:
    Honestly I really think the app needs some details here and there but it is pretty close to being ready. The app would be perfect if you put more details into those places I said that were optional, but as stated before it is optional and not needed but it would be nice for character development with other users. However you do have so minor details missing in some places making them vague, once those have been cleared up I will have no problem approving this with a final grade.




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    Mika



    Posts : 16
    Join date : 2015-09-15
    Age : 22

    Re: Mika Shiratori

    Post by Mika on Sun Sep 20, 2015 8:39 pm

    bump
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    Zed The Workaholic



    Posts : 196
    Join date : 2015-09-07

    Re: Mika Shiratori

    Post by Zed The Workaholic on Mon Sep 21, 2015 10:31 pm

    Well assuming you don't mind the fact that your character due to her in battle personality is a tank and pretty much will be weak in blocking and dodging, meaning I or another staff will keep an eye on your battles to make sure you follow this personality you are approved.




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    Zed The Workaholic



    Posts : 196
    Join date : 2015-09-07

    Re: Mika Shiratori

    Post by Zed The Workaholic on Mon Sep 21, 2015 10:37 pm

    Unlocking due to miscommunication and editing will reapprove after fixed



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    Zed The Workaholic



    Posts : 196
    Join date : 2015-09-07

    Re: Mika Shiratori

    Post by Zed The Workaholic on Mon Sep 21, 2015 11:03 pm

    eh I suppose this can be approved, it will be looked upon and watched but I see no problems




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