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    Ryos Albain Template

    Steelhooves
    Steelhooves

    Ryos Albain Template ODFYPdI

    Posts : 29
    Join date : 2015-12-13

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    Post by Steelhooves Tue Jan 19, 2016 6:22 pm

    Name: Ryos Albain
    Nickname: Ryos.  
    Age: 25 as far as he knows.  
    Birthday: January 1st.
    Race: Part human, part Celestial Spirit.  
    Rank: B.  
    Allegiance: Neutral good.
    Gender: Male.

    Species Ability/Perk
    Species: He is half human, half a celestial spirit. Though considered taboo, there is a possibility of a female human and male celestial spirit giving birth to a child. Ryos is one of those rare few. These hybrids look like humans, but can travel to the celestial spirit realm, and have celestial spirit magic. Though they may look like humans, they are extremely attractive and beautiful, as they are half celestial spirit, whom are considered heavenly beings. They maintain their young form for many years, while still being able to be killed at the hand of another, meaning that Ryos can live for centuries, still looking like he is in his twenties, but can be killed by another. However, they aren't as powerful as a regular celestial spirit, and can't stay in the celestial spirit realm forever. There is a long line of these hybrids throughout history, most of which are famous mages or warriors.

    Celestial Spirit: He is one of the celestial spirits, so he has a much higher physical strength than others, allowing him to lift things or use things that require near super strength. This allows him to duel-wield two heavy weapons, one heavy weapon and one medium weapon, etc., increasing his strength by one tier. Duration: 3 posts. Cooldown: 4 posts.
    Brotherhood: As celestial spirits have almost telepathic communications with their masters, he can almost telepathically connect with a partner in battle because, since he is only half celestial spirit, he can control those whom he connects with, allowing him to sense and boost their attack. Doing this, it gives him and his partner an edge in battle, as they can coordinate their attacks to the maximum potential, becoming much stronger together then they were alone. However, it doesn't make any attacks suddenly stronger, only gives a much higher strategic and coordinative advantage. Duration: 15 posts. Cooldown: 20 posts. Number of people that he can connect to at once: 3. Range: 45 meters.

    Special Unique Characteristics
    He has a small scar on his left eyebrow. He had this scar as long as he could remember, and whenever he asks why he has it to his master, she changes the subject. He wants to know the backstory of this scar, and that helps him pursue his goals.


    Character Depth
      Out of battle, he is kind and sociable, always wanting to lend a hand to those in need. He wants to meet new people and have fun doing so. He is known for helping without a reason, and will not accept the full amount of money in most jobs he takes despite the fact that he wants to build a guild someday. He loves to explore new places as well, and enjoys adventuring with friends. If anyone asks him to go on a job with him, he will kindly accept, and, quite usually, take less money than the rest of the group. He is very close to his brother as well, and will always ask if he could join in on the mission. He dislikes asking others to join his own missions, as he hates to put others in danger. However, he does go alone sometimes when his brother isn't available, as he likes to go back to the temple that they grew up in. However, he doesn't enjoy those nearly as much as when he takes jobs with others.
     When it comes to the law, he doesn't care nearly as much as he should. He quite usually breaks the law unknowingly but will usually apologize for his mistakes. However, he has yet to break any law that concerns the magic council. He doesn't necessarily like the magic council, as he thinks most of them are snobs who don't care much for anyone else, but he doesn't disregard their power either. If he comes across any dark guilds, he won't do anything unless they are hurting others, in which case he will try and destroy them.
      He is NOT a background fighter. He will face the toughest opponents first and deal with the weak ones later. In battle, he is merciless against his enemies, especially ones he dislikes. He mostly attacks high rank monsters, even if they are a higher rank then him, but uses strategy to win. If he is angry enough, he will start using his magic to attack. However, he is hard to anger, but one sure way to do so is to hurt his brother. He tries not to fight fellow humans, but will do so if they endanger his brother or his friends.
     
    Likes: (3 minimum)
    -Helping others. He does this because he knows that even a small act of kindness can bring a big difference.
    -Water. He doesn't know why, but water comforts him. Maybe he will understand his past more someday.
    -Doing random things with his brother. They have always been together, so they love just doing whatever comes to their minds.

    Dislikes: (3 minimum)
    -Anyone who tries to hurt his brother or friends. Of course, this is because of his nature.
    -Snobs. He hates people who act superior because of money or taste, as they only care about themselves.
    -Drunkards. They are unpredictable and useless, since they only live to drink.

    Fears: (3 minimum)
    -GHOSTS!!!  Fox 10 He just doesn't like them, as they give him shivers.
    -His brother dying. Obviously, because he cares about him a lot.
    -Never reaching his goals. He is ambitious, and the thought of failure scares him.

    Motivations/Goals: (3 minimum)
    -Becoming a guildmaster with his brother. He has always wanted to become a guildmaster, so that he could do more to help others.
    -Making new friends. He is sociable, therefore he wants to meet as many people as possible.
    -(This one is more secret) Finding "the one" for him. He does want to someday settle down, and he hopes that he can find a girl to do that with.


    Appearance
    Hair: Dark brown.
    Eyes: Bright purple.
    Skin Tone: White with a slight tan.
    Height: 6'5"
    Weight: 140 pounds.
    Overall Appearances: He is an attractive Caucasian young man who wears the colors purple and blue a lot, quite usually sticking to a purple t-shirt and jeans. He is very muscular, but not bulky, looking more lean. He always wears his double-sheath (a single sheath that has two openings, therefore can be used to hold two swords) that hide his giant greatsword and his katana, which are his weapons of choice. Sadly, he had to pawn these items to pay for rent, and now has to buy them back. He has bright purple eyes and always has a smile on his face. He has multiple battle scars, but they have healed enough so that you have to look closely to see them. He has short, messy, wavy dark brown hair.


    Other

    Guild: He is a wanderer.
    Guild Tattoo: None yet.


    Last edited by Steelhooves on Fri Feb 05, 2016 4:33 pm; edited 15 times in total
    Krow
    Krow

    Ryos Albain Template N51AM3g

    Posts : 324
    Join date : 2015-03-13

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    Post by Krow Tue Jan 19, 2016 8:04 pm

    Krow here, I will be reviewing your application today.
    All of the necessary changes will appear like this.
    BUMP once they have been made.

    Steelhooves wrote:Name
    Ryos Albain
    You are missing necessary information here, please go back and look over the Character Application Template. Then add on what you missed.

    Species Ability/Perk
    Swordmaster: You have been taught at a young age to fight effectively with a sword. (All melee damage with a sword is doubled)
    Resistant: You have been taught to take pain and deal with it. However, head on hits still hurt. (You are 25% less effected by head on damage, and 50% less effected by nearly dodged damage)
    Neither of these are Species Abilities or Perks, they are more so things that can only be gained from training.
    Special Unique Characteristics
    He has a small scar on his left eyebrow.


    Character Depth
      Ryos is a smart and kind gentleman who takes his personal comfort second to other's comfort. He is considered generous, and would quite usually help others for no reason. He loves a good challenge as well, and is very comfortable in his own skin, not afraid to say things as they are. He and his brother (who will be my brother's character when he joins XD) are a team, and they rarely ever do jobs without the other. Ryos, one day, wants to create his own guild with his brother. In battle, he will fight with his sword rather than magic, but does use his magic passively. He is ambitious and will reach his goal, even if it means staring Death in the eye. However, he will protect his brother and friends, and will never put them in harm's way.

    You are still 210 words short of the required minimum. I would suggest going more in-depth, give examples of some kind that delves into the personality trait, and maybe some insight as to why he possesses such traits.

    Likes: (3 minimum) Expand upon these by stating the reason why he likes such things and or people.
    -Helping others.
    -Water.
    -Doing random things with his brother.

    Dislikes: (3 minimum) Expand upon these by stating why he dislikes such things and or people.
    -Anyone who tries to hurt his brother or friends.
    -Snobs.
    -Drunkards

    Fears: (3 minimum) Please expand upon these by stating why he fears such things.
    -GHOSTS!!!  Fox 10
    -His brother dying.
    -Never reaching his goals.

    Motivations/Goals: (3 minimum) Please expand upon these by stating a reason why they are Motivations/Goals.
    -Becoming a guildmaster with his brother.
    -Making new friends.
    -(This one is more secret) Finding "the one" for him Razz.


    Appearance
    Hair: dark brown, with a kind of messy but cute hairstyle.
    Eyes: Bright purple.
    Skin Tone: White with a slight tan.
    Height: 6'5"
    Weight: 140
    Overall Appearances: A tall, lean, and muscular male.



    Other

    Guild: He wants to create his own. Please, just put Guildless/Wanderer here.
    Guild Tattoo: None yet Razz.
    Steelhooves
    Steelhooves

    Ryos Albain Template ODFYPdI

    Posts : 29
    Join date : 2015-12-13

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    Post by Steelhooves Tue Jan 19, 2016 9:28 pm

    So, I've edited it XD. I've pretty much done what you asked except for the 350 words thingy. I've added a little on his past, but I was wondering if I could just keep it as is because I wanted to really get in depth with who he is and stuff while rping. Of course, if it is absolutely necessary for me to get the 350 min, I'll do it XD. But I was just wondering if it was ok like this. Thanks!
    Krow
    Krow

    Ryos Albain Template N51AM3g

    Posts : 324
    Join date : 2015-03-13

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    Post by Krow Tue Jan 19, 2016 10:05 pm

    Steelhooves wrote:So, I've edited it XD. I've pretty much done what you asked except for the 350 words thingy. I've added a little on his past, but I was wondering if I could just keep it as is because I wanted to really get in depth with who he is and stuff while rping. Of course, if it is absolutely necessary for me to get the 350 min, I'll do it XD. But I was just wondering if it was ok like this. Thanks!

    The three hundred fifty word minimum is a requirement.
    Steelhooves
    Steelhooves

    Ryos Albain Template ODFYPdI

    Posts : 29
    Join date : 2015-12-13

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    Post by Steelhooves Mon Jan 25, 2016 4:32 pm

    Alright, I have edited it to approximately 450 words XD. Check it out and tell me what you think.
    Krow
    Krow

    Ryos Albain Template N51AM3g

    Posts : 324
    Join date : 2015-03-13

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    Post by Krow Thu Jan 28, 2016 6:28 pm

    You know the drill, all fixes look like this.
    BUMP once they have been made.
    Steelhooves wrote:Name
    Ryos Albain
    You are still missing require information here, go recheck the character application, this necessary information can found at the top of the application by hovering over it.

    Species Ability/Perk
    Soul Seer: Being a celestial walker (it's his type of magic), you can see people emotions and intentions. However, you cannot predict an opponents move unless s/he was thinking of it for a while.
    Brotherhood: You can almost telepathically connect with your brother or close friend, allowing you to sense and boost their attack.
    Both of these need to be elaborated upon greatly, so do that.
    Special Unique Characteristics
    He has a small scar on his left eyebrow.
    What's so special or unique about this scar?

    Character Depth

    While I am glad that you expanded the personality, some of it is stuff that is meant for a character history and has no bearing on his actual personality. Additionally, several parts of the personality are just repeats of information that has already been stated and a grammar is off point. Fix all of these issues.
      Overall: Ryos is a smart and kind gentleman who takes his personal comfort second to other's comfort. He is considered generous, and would quite usually help others for no reason. He loves a good challenge as well, and is very comfortable in his own skin, not afraid to say things as they are. He and his brother (who will be my brother's character when he joins XD) are a team, and they rarely ever do jobs without the other. Ryos, one day, wants to create his own guild with his brother. In battle, he will fight with his sword rather than magic, but does use his magic passively. He is ambitious and will reach his goal, even if it means staring Death in the eye. However, he will protect his brother and friends, and will never put them in harm's way.

    His past: He was left by his parents, along with his brother, who had dropped them off by a shore, but they didn't know that the tide would come in. Somehow, they were both mysteriously saved, and were taken to an isolated temple of swordmasteres. They were taught at a young age to fight and survive, going through tasks that most would see as insane, but they saw as ordinary. Eventually, they left the temple to go out and explore the beautiful world that they lived in.

    His Aspect of Life: He believes that life was given to him for a reason, and wants to use his life to help others. He tries his hardest to do the right thing, and usually does. However, he makes mistakes as well. He will adventure for any reason, whether it would be for money or a favor, or even for no apparent reason. He loves to adventure with others as well, so he would gladly accept any requests for adventuring.

    His Relationships: He has many friends, but few best friends. His brother happens to be one of the few. Those whom he decides are worth his time more than others are quite usually asked to go with him on quests, missions, or jobs. However, it is hard to get to that level, as he tries to keep his friends out of harm's way. If you ask him to go with him, he would gladly accept, though.

    His Skills: He has many skills, including parkour, wicked hand-to-hand combat techniques, a wide range of martial art knowledge, and a mastery of all things to do with swords. using these skills, he has an upper hand in every melee battle he has ever faced and ever will face. However, his magic skills are more passive, and if he fights an opponent that uses powerful offensive magic, he might lose. He can still hold his own, though, defeating many magic-based opponents.

    Likes: (3 minimum)
    -Helping others. He does this because he knows that even a small act of kindness can bring a big difference.
    -Water. He doesn't know why, but water comforts him. Maybe he will understand his past more someday.
    -Doing random things with his brother. They have always been together, so they love just doing whatever comes to their minds.

    Dislikes: (3 minimum)
    -Anyone who tries to hurt his brother or friends. Of course, this is because of his nature.
    -Snobs. He hates people who act superior because of money or taste, as they only care about themselves.
    -Drunkards. They are unpredictable and useless, since they only live to drink.

    Fears: (3 minimum)
    -GHOSTS!!!  Fox 10 He can't read them with his Soul Seer, so they create an unusual and unpleasant air around them.
    -His brother dying. Obviously, because he cares about him a lot.
    -Never reaching his goals. He is ambitious, and the thought of failure scares him.

    Motivations/Goals: (3 minimum)
    -Becoming a guildmaster with his brother. He has always wanted to become a guildmaster, so that he could do more to help others.
    -Making new friends. He is sociable, therefore he wants to meet as many people as possible.
    -(This one is more secret) Finding "the one" for him Razz. He does want to someday settle down, and he hopes that he can find a girl to do that with.


    Appearance
    Hair: dark brown, with a kind of messy but cute hairstyle.
    Eyes: Bright purple.
    Skin Tone: White with a slight tan.
    Height: 6'5"
    Weight: 140
    Overall Appearances: A tall, lean, and muscular male.



    Other

    Guild: He is a wanderer, but he hopes to create a guild someday.
    Guild Tattoo: None yet Razz.
    Steelhooves
    Steelhooves

    Ryos Albain Template ODFYPdI

    Posts : 29
    Join date : 2015-12-13

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    Post by Steelhooves Thu Jan 28, 2016 7:20 pm

    Alright, once again edited XD. Tell me what you think.
    Krow
    Krow

    Ryos Albain Template N51AM3g

    Posts : 324
    Join date : 2015-03-13

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    Post by Krow Mon Feb 01, 2016 10:11 am

    You know the drill, fix the stuff I list then BUMP.
    Steelhooves wrote:Name: Ryos Albain
    Nickname: Ryos.  Age: 25 as far as he knows.  Birthday: He doesn't know, but he celebrates it every New Year.
    Race: Part human, part Celestial Being.   Rank: S.   Allegiance: None.
    Gender: Male.
    You're still missing stuff here. For the third time, go check the character app to find what you are missing.
    Species Ability/Perk
    Soul Seer: Being a celestial walker (it's his type of magic), he can see people emotions and intentions, allowing for a good judge of character. However, you cannot predict an opponents move unless s/he was thinking of it for a while. He was born with this ability and is uncomfortable around those very, very few who he can't read. Being able to sense emotions I can let pass, as for their intentions and simply knowing how they plan to attack, these cannot be allowed. They are god mods. So remove them. Keep in mind, perks should only be one ability, not multiple.

    Brotherhood: He can almost telepathically connect with his brother or close friend, allowing him to sense and boost their attack. Doing this, it gives him and his partner an edge in battle, as they can coordinate their attacks to the maximum potential, becoming much stronger together then they were alone. Give examples of these collaborative efforts.

    Special Unique Characteristics
    He has a small scar on his left eyebrow. He had this scar as long as he could remember, and whenever he asks why he has it to his master, she changes the subject. He wants to know the backstory of this scar, and that helps him pursue his goals.


    Character Depth
      His Personality Out of Battle: Out of battle, he is kind and sociable, always wanting to lend a hand to those in need. He wants to meet new people and have fun doing so. He is known for helping without a reason, and will not accept the full amount of money in most jobs he takes despite the fact that he wants to build a guild someday. He loves to explore new places as well, and enjoys adventuring with friends. If anyone asks him to go on a job with him, he will kindly accept, and, quite usually, take less money than the rest of the group. He is very close to his brother as well, and will always ask if he could join in on the mission. He dislikes asking others to join his own missions, as he hates to put others in danger. But, he and his brother always go together, since he can use his Brotherhood ability to completely irradiate any foe he may come across.
     His Personality in Battle: He is NOT a background fighter. He will face the toughest opponents first and deal with the weak ones later. In battle, he is merciless against his enemies, especially ones he dislikes. If he is angry enough, he will start using his magic to attack along with his blades, which makes for a deadly combo. However, he is hard to anger, but one sure way to do so is to hurt his brother. He tries not to fight fellow humans, but will do so if they endanger his brother or his friends. He is very skilled, and is never easy to defeat.
     His Skills: He has many skills, including parkour, wicked hand-to-hand combat techniques, a wide range of martial art knowledge, and a mastery of all things to do with swords. Using these skills, he has an upper hand in every melee battle he has ever faced and ever will face. However, his magic skills are more passive, and, if he fights an opponent that uses powerful offensive magic, he might lose. He can still hold his own, though, defeating many of those magic-based opponents.

    Likes: (3 minimum)
    -Helping others. He does this because he knows that even a small act of kindness can bring a big difference.
    -Water. He doesn't know why, but water comforts him. Maybe he will understand his past more someday.
    -Doing random things with his brother. They have always been together, so they love just doing whatever comes to their minds.

    Dislikes: (3 minimum)
    -Anyone who tries to hurt his brother or friends. Of course, this is because of his nature.
    -Snobs. He hates people who act superior because of money or taste, as they only care about themselves.
    -Drunkards. They are unpredictable and useless, since they only live to drink.

    Fears: (3 minimum)
    -GHOSTS!!!  Fox 10 He can't read them with his Soul Seer, so they create an unusual and unpleasant air around them.
    -His brother dying. Obviously, because he cares about him a lot.
    -Never reaching his goals. He is ambitious, and the thought of failure scares him.

    Motivations/Goals: (3 minimum)
    -Becoming a guildmaster with his brother. He has always wanted to become a guildmaster, so that he could do more to help others.
    -Making new friends. He is sociable, therefore he wants to meet as many people as possible.
    -(This one is more secret) Finding "the one" for him Razz. He does want to someday settle down, and he hopes that he can find a girl to do that with.


    Appearance
    Hair: dark brown, with a kind of messy but cute hairstyle.
    Eyes: Bright purple.
    Skin Tone: White with a slight tan.
    Height: 6'5"
    Weight: 140
    Overall Appearances: A tall, lean, and muscular male.


    Other

    Guild: He is a wanderer, but he hopes to create a guild someday.
    Guild Tattoo: None yet Razz.
    Steelhooves
    Steelhooves

    Ryos Albain Template ODFYPdI

    Posts : 29
    Join date : 2015-12-13

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    Post by Steelhooves Mon Feb 01, 2016 2:11 pm

    BUMP
    Krow
    Krow

    Ryos Albain Template N51AM3g

    Posts : 324
    Join date : 2015-03-13

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    Post by Krow Mon Feb 01, 2016 4:37 pm

    Steelhooves wrote:Name: Ryos Albain
    Nickname: Ryos.
    Age: 25 as far as he knows.
    Birthday: January 1st.
    Race: Part human, part Celestial Spirit.
    Rank: D.
    Allegiance: Neutral good.

    Gender: Male.

    Species Ability/Perk
    Species: He is half human, half a celestial spirit, as in the ones you can summon from keys.

    Celestial Spirit: He is one of the celestial spirits, so he has a much higher magical and physical strength than others, allowing him to lift things or use things that require near super strength. Pick higher magical strength of physical energy, you can't have both as the same perk.

    Brotherhood: He can almost telepathically connect with his brother or close friend, allowing him to sense and boost their attack. Doing this, it gives him and his partner an edge in battle, as they can coordinate their attacks to the maximum potential, becoming much stronger together then they were alone. However, it doesn't make any attacks suddenly stronger, only gives a much higher strategic and coordinative advantage. Duration: Throughout the battle. Cooldown: 10 posts. Remove the part about the brother, and specify an actuall number for the duration.

    Special Unique Characteristics
    He has a small scar on his left eyebrow. He had this scar as long as he could remember, and whenever he asks why he has it to his master, she changes the subject. He wants to know the backstory of this scar, and that helps him pursue his goals.


    Character Depth
      Out of battle, he is kind and sociable, always wanting to lend a hand to those in need. He wants to meet new people and have fun doing so. He is known for helping without a reason, and will not accept the full amount of money in most jobs he takes despite the fact that he wants to build a guild someday. He loves to explore new places as well, and enjoys adventuring with friends. If anyone asks him to go on a job with him, he will kindly accept, and, quite usually, take less money than the rest of the group. He is very close to his brother as well, and will always ask if he could join in on the mission. He dislikes asking others to join his own missions, as he hates to put others in danger. But, he and his brother always go together, since he can use his Brotherhood ability to completely irradiate any foe he may come across. However, he does go alone sometimes when his brother isn't available, as he likes to go back to the temple that they grew up in. In those cases, he will take jobs alone and will excel at them, having no one to protect. However, he doesn't enjoy those nearly as much as when he takes jobs with others.
     When it comes to the law, he doesn't care nearly as much as he should. He quite usually breaks the law unknowingly *cough* Erza destroying cities *cough*, but will usually apologize for his mistakes. However, he has yet to break any law that concerns the magic council. He doesn't necessarily like the magic council, as he thinks most of them are snobs who don't care much for anyone else, but he doesn't disregard their power either. If he comes across any dark guilds, he won't do anything unless they are hurting others, in which case he will try and destroy them.
      He is NOT a background fighter. He will face the toughest opponents first and deal with the weak ones later. In battle, he is merciless against his enemies, especially ones he dislikes. If he is angry enough, he will start using his magic to attack along with his blades, which makes for a deadly combo. However, he is hard to anger, but one sure way to do so is to hurt his brother. He tries not to fight fellow humans, but will do so if they endanger his brother or his friends. He is very skilled, and is never easy to defeat.
     
    Likes: (3 minimum)
    -Helping others. He does this because he knows that even a small act of kindness can bring a big difference.
    -Water. He doesn't know why, but water comforts him. Maybe he will understand his past more someday.
    -Doing random things with his brother. They have always been together, so they love just doing whatever comes to their minds.

    Dislikes: (3 minimum)
    -Anyone who tries to hurt his brother or friends. Of course, this is because of his nature.
    -Snobs. He hates people who act superior because of money or taste, as they only care about themselves.
    -Drunkards. They are unpredictable and useless, since they only live to drink.

    Fears: (3 minimum)
    -GHOSTS!!!  Fox 10 He just doesn't like them, as they give him shivers.
    -His brother dying. Obviously, because he cares about him a lot.
    -Never reaching his goals. He is ambitious, and the thought of failure scares him.

    Motivations/Goals: (3 minimum)
    -Becoming a guildmaster with his brother. He has always wanted to become a guildmaster, so that he could do more to help others.
    -Making new friends. He is sociable, therefore he wants to meet as many people as possible.
    -(This one is more secret) Finding "the one" for him. He does want to someday settle down, and he hopes that he can find a girl to do that with.


    Appearance
    Hair: Dark brown.
    Eyes: Bright purple.
    Skin Tone: White with a slight tan.
    Height: 6'5"
    Weight: 140 pounds.
    Overall Appearances: He is an attractive Caucasian young man who wears the colors purple and blue a lot, quite usually sticking to a purple t-shirt and jeans. He always wears his double-sheath (a single sheath that has two openings, therefore can be used to hold two swords) that hide his giant greatsword and his katana, which are his weapons of choice. He has bright purple eyes and always has a smile on his face. He has multiple battle scars, but they have healed enough so that you have to look closely to see them. He has short, messy, wavy dark brown hair.


    Other

    Guild: He is a wanderer.
    Guild Tattoo: None yet.
    Steelhooves
    Steelhooves

    Ryos Albain Template ODFYPdI

    Posts : 29
    Join date : 2015-12-13

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    Post by Steelhooves Mon Feb 01, 2016 6:06 pm

    BUMP
    Genesis
    Genesis

    Ryos Albain Template Qm1sqjP

    Posts : 323
    Join date : 2015-12-06
    Age : 23

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    Post by Genesis Tue Feb 02, 2016 7:46 pm

    Hi, my name is Genesis and I will be taking over you app today as per request of Krow. Changes are in this color
    Steelhooves wrote:Name: Ryos Albain
    Nickname: Ryos.  
    Age: 25 as far as he knows.  
    Birthday: January 1st.
    Race: Part human, part Celestial Spirit.  
    Rank: D.  
    Allegiance: Neutral good.
    Gender: Male.

    Species Ability/Perk
    Species: He is half human, half a celestial spirit, as in the ones you can summon from keys. Unfortunately that's Celestial Spirit magic. You cannot have this perk

    Celestial Spirit: He is one of the celestial spirits, so he has a much higher physical strength than others, allowing him to lift things or use things that require near super strength. This allows him to duel-wield two heavy weapons, one heavy weapon and one medium weapon, etc. Is this a stat buff perk? If so you boost the strength stat by one tier for 3 posts with a 4 post cooldown
    Brotherhood: He can almost telepathically connect with a partner in battle, allowing him to sense and boost their attack. Doing this, it gives him and his partner an edge in battle, as they can coordinate their attacks to the maximum potential, becoming much stronger together then they were alone. However, it doesn't make any attacks suddenly stronger, only gives a much higher strategic and coordinative advantage. Duration: 15 posts. Cooldown: 20 posts. Before I get to grading this perk entirely, let me ask you this. What part of your race allows you to have this perk?

    Special Unique Characteristics
    He has a small scar on his left eyebrow. He had this scar as long as he could remember, and whenever he asks why he has it to his master, she changes the subject. He wants to know the backstory of this scar, and that helps him pursue his goals.


    Character Depth
      Out of battle, he is kind and sociable, always wanting to lend a hand to those in need. He wants to meet new people and have fun doing so. He is known for helping without a reason, and will not accept the full amount of money in most jobs he takes despite the fact that he wants to build a guild someday. He loves to explore new places as well, and enjoys adventuring with friends. If anyone asks him to go on a job with him, he will kindly accept, and, quite usually, take less money than the rest of the group. He is very close to his brother as well, and will always ask if he could join in on the mission. He dislikes asking others to join his own missions, as he hates to put others in danger. But, he and his brother always go together, since he can use his Brotherhood ability to completely irradiate any foe he may come across. Take out the part about the Brotherhood ability. Its not guaranteed you can have it so its best if you take it out However, he does go alone sometimes when his brother isn't available, as he likes to go back to the temple that they grew up in. In those cases, he will take jobs alone and will excel at them You cannot say he will excel at them, it all depends on the outcome. Change this, having no one to protect. However, he doesn't enjoy those nearly as much as when he takes jobs with others.
     When it comes to the law, he doesn't care nearly as much as he should. He quite usually breaks the law unknowingly *cough* Erza destroying cities *cough* Please take the part about Erza out of this. , but will usually apologize for his mistakes. However, he has yet to break any law that concerns the magic council. He doesn't necessarily like the magic council, as he thinks most of them are snobs who don't care much for anyone else, but he doesn't disregard their power either. If he comes across any dark guilds, he won't do anything unless they are hurting others, in which case he will try and destroy them.
      He is NOT a background fighter. He will face the toughest opponents first and deal with the weak ones later. In battle, he is merciless against his enemies, especially ones he dislikes. If he is angry enough, he will start using his magic to attack along with his blades Take out the part about blades, since you don't start with them, which makes for a deadly combo Also it isn't guaranteed its a deadly combo so change that. However, he is hard to anger, but one sure way to do so is to hurt his brother. He tries not to fight fellow humans, but will do so if they endanger his brother or his friends. He is very skilled, and is never easy to defeat.
     
    Likes: (3 minimum)
    -Helping others. He does this because he knows that even a small act of kindness can bring a big difference.
    -Water. He doesn't know why, but water comforts him. Maybe he will understand his past more someday.
    -Doing random things with his brother. They have always been together, so they love just doing whatever comes to their minds.

    Dislikes: (3 minimum)
    -Anyone who tries to hurt his brother or friends. Of course, this is because of his nature.
    -Snobs. He hates people who act superior because of money or taste, as they only care about themselves.
    -Drunkards. They are unpredictable and useless, since they only live to drink.

    Fears: (3 minimum)
    -GHOSTS!!!  Fox 10 He just doesn't like them, as they give him shivers.
    -His brother dying. Obviously, because he cares about him a lot.
    -Never reaching his goals. He is ambitious, and the thought of failure scares him.

    Motivations/Goals: (3 minimum)
    -Becoming a guildmaster with his brother. He has always wanted to become a guildmaster, so that he could do more to help others.
    -Making new friends. He is sociable, therefore he wants to meet as many people as possible.
    -(This one is more secret) Finding "the one" for him. He does want to someday settle down, and he hopes that he can find a girl to do that with.


    Appearance
    Hair: Dark brown.
    Eyes: Bright purple.
    Skin Tone: White with a slight tan.
    Height: 6'5"
    Weight: 140 pounds.
    Overall Appearances: He is an attractive Caucasian young man who wears the colors purple and blue a lot, quite usually sticking to a purple t-shirt and jeans. He always wears his double-sheath (a single sheath that has two openings, therefore can be used to hold two swords) that hide his giant greatsword and his katana You cannot start off with a weapon so please take that out. You will need to buy one first, which are his weapons of choice. He has bright purple eyes and always has a smile on his face. He has multiple battle scars, but they have healed enough so that you have to look closely to see them. He has short, messy, wavy dark brown hair.


    Other

    Guild: He is a wanderer.
    Guild Tattoo: None yet.

    Bump when edits are made~
    Steelhooves
    Steelhooves

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    Post by Steelhooves Wed Feb 03, 2016 1:51 pm

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    Post by Genesis Wed Feb 03, 2016 3:13 pm


    Celestial Spirit: He is one of the celestial spirits, so he has a much higher physical strength than others, allowing him to lift things or use things that require near super strength. This allows him to duel-wield two heavy weapons, one heavy weapon and one medium weapon, etc. Duration: 3 posts. Cooldown: 4 posts.
    I need exact numbers. Like I said before this is a stat buff perk, it cannot be a passive perk. The duration is 3 and cooldown is 4

    Brotherhood: As celestial spirits have almost telepathic communications with their masters, he can almost telepathically connect with a partner in battle, allowing him to sense and boost their attack. Doing this, it gives him and his partner an edge in battle, as they can coordinate their attacks to the maximum potential, becoming much stronger together then they were alone. However, it doesn't make any attacks suddenly stronger, only gives a much higher strategic and coordinative advantage. Duration: 15 posts. Cooldown: 20 posts.
    You said they only have telepathy with their masters. However this ability extends to everybody. So how has Ryos gained this power to talk telepathically to everyone?
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    Post by Steelhooves Wed Feb 03, 2016 3:21 pm

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    Post by Genesis Thu Feb 04, 2016 9:33 pm

    One last thing. Please give a short explanation on what a half Celestial spirit and half human is. Give a bit of history on it.
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    Post by Steelhooves Fri Feb 05, 2016 11:42 am

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    Post by Genesis Fri Feb 05, 2016 4:00 pm

    He is very skilled, and is never easy to defeat.
    Take that part out of your personallity. That depends on how well you RP not simply stating it

    Also note you cannot have passive CS Magic. You will need to choose it as either your actual primary or secondary Magic (after you purchase it)
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    Post by Steelhooves Fri Feb 05, 2016 4:26 pm

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    Post by Genesis Fri Feb 05, 2016 4:35 pm

    Alright then approved!

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