Hiroko Trajada

Hi Hiroko, my name's Selenia and I'll be grading your app today c:

Everything looks A-OK for the most part, just want to clarify a few things here and there if that's okay ^^

First off, going to ask you to give me some more info in the section with your perks as to what exactly a half-golem is. Details about the race's history and any information you'd like to give as to what they are would be great ^^

Spoiler:

As to the Half-Golem perk itself, while there is no official rule stating this, having a 15 foot/5 meter tall character is a bit much. You are, however, allowed to do have him be 12 feet tall, if that's okay with you. As for the exceptional strength, is this in PvP or only in RP? If it's in PvP, it will either need a cooldown and duration so that your strength stat can be boosted by one rank for one turn at D-Rank, two posts at C-Rank, three posts at B-Rank, four posts at A-Rank, five posts at S-Rank, and six posts at SS-Rank. Or you could choose, since your character is so big, to have a permanent increase in strength, but at the same time to have a permanent decrease in speed (each by one rank; it doesn't have to be speed, could be agility, precision, or even endurance).

As to the shrinking aspect of this perk, I only have one thing to say: it cannot be used in battle. You must either choose to be small in battle, or large in battle, but you cannot change while in battle. This would allow you to avoid spells if they are lasers that were targeted at your upper body simply by changing forms. If you do want to have the ability to change your height in battle, that would need to be its own perk with a cooldown/duration as well based on your rank. Remember, however, that you can only have two perks.

Spoiler:

I know you say it won't deal significant damage and is only painful, but pain can be powerful in PvP, as can first degree burns, so I'm going to have to ask you to change this perk or remove it completely. If you do change it, you can have this perk as is but only if you add a duration and cooldown for it based on your rank as with the previous perk; you could also have the fire do damage based on your rank. If you simply want to create fire from anywhere on your body, but without it doing anything to affect other characters, that would also be fine, and you wouldn't need a duration or cooldown. You could also just put flaming hair in as a special unique characteristic if you'd like, although it wouldn't be able to do anything.

As to the rest of your app, you're going to need to add at least a sentence description for each like, dislike, and motivation/goal. For your fear of death, I'd like you to either change it completely or explain who/what he fears dying from and why it's different from as opposed to if he just normally died, because pretty much every character fears death so it isn't very valid.

As for the height in appearance, just change it to 1.9 Meters/12 Meters if you decide to change that accordingly.

Thank you for being patient, please make these edits and bump and I'll get to it ASAP~

(By the way, just my advice, but if you're planning on getting Fire Magic or something of that sort, I would just give your character a special unique characteristic of having flaming hair and make the ability to shrink your second perk.)

Bump, and where it says I can have more strength, didn't mean to buff it with numbers, just actually mentioning he will have a big strength stat.

Since you're not giving either of your perks cooldowns or durations, I'll assume they are only to be used in RP, not in PvP. Two things to note is that the ruling for transformations (which would mean your shrinking ability) is that it can only happen once per post. Also, the part of your second perk that says "slightly burn ice if in contact with his body" won't have any PvP effect, as previously stated.

Unless you disagree with this (in which case PM me ^^), character approved!

Changes done, bump

Hi there Hiroko, you already know who I am so let's just cut to the chase.

You only have one thing you need to change, your species perk. Since  you still don't have a rank, (you haven't taken your S rank exam yet) you can't really give a percentage yet (the current amount you have so far is for A rank). So you may either leave it out for now or just put in the current D rank percentage. Also wouldn't it make more sense for the shield to give you more defense rather than health? Shields are known to defend not to increase health, so I would appreciate if you changed that.

Bump when changes have been made.

Would that even matter? I mean, each time you rank up, you're endrance grows, not your health since you always stay at 100%, if I stay at 125% it's the same, when at D rank that 25% maaybe blocks nothing but 1 D rank spell, maybe in A rank it can block 1 A rank spell regardless of percentage but actually depending in the rank. Am I too confusing? or did you get my point?

First approval given.

Seeing as the overall app was graded and approved, I will just be focusing on the abilities.

1. Half Golem: As a hybrid Human-Golem being, he has been passed out some of his golem physical characteristics, allowing him to be exceptionally high and strong. He is 12 feet tall and weights about half a tone, but not because he is fat, but because of his big muscles. He is able to shrink to a 1.9 meter tall height, but his weight will be the same. Also, he can't change his height while he's fighting.

The first one looks good. I just need duration and cool down unless it's more of a switching appearance type of thing. Kinda like the switching of FC's ability


2. Stone Skin: As a golem, Hiroko's skin can transform into stone. This way, it can protect him from incoming attacks. In this case, Hiroko can generate a passive shield around him made with his rock skin. This shield gives him an extra 20% of maximum health and is always active until it breaks. If it breaks, the shield can't be activated again until the user actually rests enough by not fighting for at least 3 posts.

As per the shield ability, I need to know how strong the shield is. Furthermore, I need a graph for the ability rank as you rank up. What this means is that, when you are D rank, it only gives him, per example, 10%, 15% at C, 20% at B, etc so that it increases all the way up to SS rank. I also need to know how much damage it can take before it breaks.


Bump when done!~

Well, for the first one, I didn't have cooldown or duration since it's just actually to say "hey, I'm bigger than normal" but to be able to rp like a normal human and not actually for battle, because it's not easy to rp as a giant (I've done it before). For my secondary one, it's been changed, and for the damage it can take, that percentage is the damage it can take but I specified it.

Unless anyone see an issue with this later on, i'll approve. But, first, i need you to change your guild name. ^-^

Woops, done

keep in mind that you can only change your height once per post. other than that, appppppprooooooooooved!~