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    Blanc's hammer. [done]

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    Blanc



    Posts : 75
    Join date : 2015-12-22

    Blanc's hammer. [done]

    Post by Blanc on Mon Feb 08, 2016 3:53 am

    giant's hammer
    heavy
    rank D
    N/A
    earth
    Yes
    4000


    Description of Weapon

     the giant's hammer is a 1 meter long, 50 centimeter wide hammer with the handle being only 10 centimeters in width and 70 centimeters in length, while the main hammer being 30 centimeters long, 40 centimeters wide and 40 centimeters in length from one point to the opposite side. it is red with blue painted on the hammers front and back,  and weighs over 30 kilograms all together.
       


    Abilities of the Weapon

     

      passive ability:transformations:when Blanc activates HDD, the hammer becomes a Ax which is similar to the hammer, but instead of dealing blunt damage, it deals slashing damage. HDD is a change in the physical form of the users body that only adds a cosmetic look and the ability to fly. it changes the weapons form into a Ax that is slightly larger by a few centimeters, the Ax blade is larger then the hammer's main tip and is more curved like a scythe. the Ax is the same colors as to the hammer but the Ax is larger then the hammer by 20 centimeters and is wider by a few millimeters.  


      active ability:giant's aura:When being swung by Blanc as a hammer, the aura of Blanc changes from her own to ones of the ancient giants, boosting damage of the weapon for two posts. can only be used twice in one thread. The giants aura comes from the hammer and the damage increase is only up by a single rank and can't go over the maximum Rank of the mage.

       


    Weaknesses of the Weapon


      the hammer/Ax is very heavy and takes up a lot of strength to swing around and hit opponents. Blanc is able to lift this hammer as of her hidden strength as a CPU. this doesn't affect the amount of power it does, as the hammer does not hit harder if the user has a large amount of strength.



      the hammer/ax swing is very slow and takes around four seconds to hit each the foe with each consecutive hit.



      the hammer/Ax is considered one of the heaviest weapons in the world and takes time to master, so it's main power is drained a lot. in a single post, Blanc can swing this hammer only 3 times and not a single time more, even with a buff to increase her strength.

       


    Backstory of The Weapon
      the hammer was made by a old blacksmith in the outskirts of Planeptune back in gaminudsti, and was made out of mithril, a very sturdy and powerful metal only found in very few caves anywhere around the world. the hammer itself was made to be only used by Blanc for a very short period of time before it had to be melted down and used as scrap for different weapons to be used on, but Blanc had grown a special attachment to the hammer  and refused to let it get melted down into scrap, and took the hammer by force, but the old blacksmith didn't show any resistance and let Blanc keep the hammer as long as she took good care of it.  Blanc used this hammer in many of her battles when she was in Gaminudstri and had never once let it go out of her sight or have it get too damaged for her to repair. to this day, Blanc uses this hammer only when she has to and when words have failed to stop a battle from happening and keeps it in good condition so then it won't ever let Blanc down.

    Extra
    though made in Gamindustri, Blanc can summon this weapon by simply putting her hands out in front of her, where it will appear in her hands. when she transforms, it will change into a Ax of the same parameters of the hammer but in the form of a ax.    




    Last edited by Blanc on Wed Feb 17, 2016 6:27 am; edited 3 times in total



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    Blanc



    Posts : 75
    Join date : 2015-12-22

    Re: Blanc's hammer. [done]

    Post by Blanc on Fri Feb 12, 2016 7:15 am

    ready for evaluation. bump.



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    Lady



    Posts : 41
    Join date : 2016-01-27
    Age : 23

    Re: Blanc's hammer. [done]

    Post by Lady on Sat Feb 13, 2016 11:17 am

    Hello! I am Lady and I will be grading your application ^^ All my comments will be made in THIS COLOR. If you have any questions, comments or concerns about your application, Please feel free to contact me personally or another staff member. Now let's begin.

    Blanc wrote:
    giant's hammer
    heavy
    rank D
    N/A
    earth
    Yes
    4000


    Description of Weapon

     the giant's hammer is a 1 meter long, 50 centimeter wide hammer with the handle being only 10 centimeters in width and 70 centimeters in length, while the main hammer being 30 centimeters long, 40 centimeters wide and 40 centimeters in length from one point to the opposite side. it is red with blue painted on the hammers front and back,  and weighs over 30 kilograms all together. While you clearly cover the base design of the weapon, you lack any kind of detail concerning the construct of your Hammer. If it is the same one in your images, It is more than just 'painted blue', and you have alot more to cover in this description. Including any sounds it creates when being handled in a certain way, can it only be wielded by your character, describe its shape... etc.
    Also! I found that you have an recurring grammatical error; That being the inability to capitalize at the beginning of your sentences and creating either run on's or ending a sentence too early. Please go back through and fix these errors.  

       


    Abilities of the Weapon

     

      passive ability:transformations:when Blanc activates HDD, the hammer becomes a Ax that is the same parameters of the hammer, but instead of dealing blunt damage, it deals slashing damage.

    What is HDD? While this may be a trait of your magic or species, please show specifics even in this application or else I will think it is part of your weapon. Also, while it may possess the same parameters, I doubt that the ax looks the exact same as the Hammer. Please include that in the description as well.

      active ability:giant's aura:when being swung by Blanc as a hammer, the aura of Blanc changes from her own to ones of the ancient giants, boosting damage of the weapon for two posts. can only be used twice in one thread.

    Where does the Giants Aura come from? Your magic? Species or from the weapon itself? Does it feel different, or look different? Is the Aura of a certain color? Is this also considered an attack technique that she calls out by name?
    Another issue, please be specific on the damage boost, more along the lines of how much extra damage. Please relate to the damage chart.

       


    Weaknesses of the Weapon


      the hammer/Ax is very heavy and takes up a lot of strength to swing around and hit opponents.

    30 Kilograms is approx 67 pounds which is very very heavy. How is a small girl able to weild this? I would think that it would be similar to Thor's hammer and only she can weild it, but then this weakness would not apply to her. For clarification can you tell me why she is able to weild something so heavy?


      the hammer/ax swing is very slow and takes around four seconds to hit each the foe with each consecutive hit.

    Instead of saying how long it takes to swing, can you please give a reference to approximately how many times she can swing per post? You will not be super limited to this amount, but time is not measured in a post so it is too difficult to base speed off of actual time.


      the hammer/Ax is considered one of the heaviest weapons in the world and takes time to master, so it's main power is drained a lot.

    This one corresponds to the first one too much and could be considered the same weakness.. Also, considering it is really heavy, there SHOULD be a limit to how many times she can swing with the axe per post. I can only do so many squats at 215 lbs. So it makes sense.
       


    Backstory of The Weapon
      the hammer was made by a old blacksmith in the outskirts of Planeptune back in gaminudsti, and was made out of mithril, a very sturdy and powerful metal only found in very few caves anywhere around the world. the hammer itself was made to be only used by Blanc for a very short period of time before it had to be melted down and used as scrap for different weapons to be used on, but Blanc had grown a special attachment to the hammer  and refused to let it get melted down into scrap, and took the hammer by force, but the old blacksmith didn't show any resistance and let Blanc keep the hammer as long as she took good care of it.  Blanc used this hammer in many of her battles when she was in Gaminudstri and had never once let it go out of her sight or have it get too damaged for her to repair. to this day, Blanc uses this hammer only when she has to and when words have failed to stop a battle from happening and keeps it in good condition so then it won't ever let Blanc down.

    Extra
    though made in Gamindustri, Blanc can summon this weapon by simply putting her hands out in front of her, where it will appear in her hands. when she transforms, it will change into a Ax of the same parameters of the hammer but in the form of a ax.    I am not trying to be rude, but please fix the discussed grammatical issues that you display all over your application before I read into your history and Extra. I am having a difficult time understanding about your weapon due to this.
    You have a great basic design for your weapon, you just need to flesh it out a little. If you have difficult with meeting any of these edits, PLEASE COME TO ME FOR ASSISTANCE! I am more than willing to point you in the right direction. I apologize and thank you in advance.




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    Blanc



    Posts : 75
    Join date : 2015-12-22

    Re: Blanc's hammer. [done]

    Post by Blanc on Sat Feb 13, 2016 11:23 am

    Sorry. I haven't been feeling too good for a while now. You can delete this as… I don't believe I can make a good weapon for a while. It is hard to explain with everything in red… as I don't have all the details for it and trying to explain them all will take too long. For the HDD, please check out my character app. If you can't delete this, then please just move this to archives and lock this. I am sorry for wasting your time.



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    Lady



    Posts : 41
    Join date : 2016-01-27
    Age : 23

    Re: Blanc's hammer. [done]

    Post by Lady on Sat Feb 13, 2016 11:35 am

    If it is the color that has set you off I apologize. I can change this to fit your needs easily. If you continue to feel this way we can keep it in WIP till you are ready to progress further on it. Like I stated previously, You have a good start here but there are just some tweaks that need made, nothing too difficult and I am willing to help you along the way.

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    Blanc



    Posts : 75
    Join date : 2015-12-22

    Re: Blanc's hammer. [done]

    Post by Blanc on Sat Feb 13, 2016 11:43 am

    It's not the Color, I just doubt I can actually explain everything and edit it all to make it good enough to use. Again, I am sorry about wasting your time. I… have been really down and it has been affecting how I do things. I… just doubt what I post is good enough… I am very sorry.



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    Lady



    Posts : 41
    Join date : 2016-01-27
    Age : 23

    Re: Blanc's hammer. [done]

    Post by Lady on Sat Feb 13, 2016 11:47 am

    I feel like you are misconstruing what I am trying to say. I will keep this in WIP, hopefully you can feel up to it soon. Please understand that I am not the kind of person to tear you down. Instead I much rather attempt to lift you up but with honesty and examples. Believe it or not I have been in your shoes recently and can help you (: Feel free to contact me dear!

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    Blanc



    Posts : 75
    Join date : 2015-12-22

    Re: Blanc's hammer. [done]

    Post by Blanc on Sun Feb 14, 2016 2:25 am

    Thank you, Lady. if there are some things you don't understand, i will do my utmost best to explain it. i am not very good with explanations but i will do my best.




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