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Tyrath Life Z0wCCXI


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    Tyrath Life

    Life
    Life

    Tyrath Life ODFYPdI

    Posts : 7
    Join date : 2015-10-23
    Age : 31

    Tyrath Life Empty Tyrath Life

    Post by Life Fri Oct 30, 2015 2:53 am

    NAME OF CHARACTER: Tyrath Life
    NICK NAME: Ray
    AGE: 402 e
    BIRTHDAY: Jan 30
    SPECIES: Dragon
    RANK: D
    ALLEGIANCE: Chaotic Evil
    GENDER: Male


    SPECIES ABILITY/PERK

    Perk 1- Light Dragon: Tyrath being a light Dragon, has the ability to concentrate and manipulate light. This makes him strongest in the noon, and weakest in the evening. He can absorb light from any source to power him much like anyone with Dragon slayer magic and can even store light inside of him to unleash later. As a Dragon he is also immune to all forms of magic except Dragon magic and is highly resilient to physical attacks. Flying is also natural.

    Perk 2- Shape-shifter: Tyrath was one of the only dragons to survive the great war of his past. This was due to his shape-shifting abilities which allowed him to stay hidden and safe. He can shape-shift into any type of creature he has seen. The shape shifting only acts as a guise to hide his true dragon form or whatever previous identity he was under.

    SPECIAL UNIQUE CHARACTERISTICS

    He has a large burn mark on his back which shows no matter what he shape shifts into, a reminder of a past battle with another Dragon and a way to distinguish him even in human form.

    CHARACTER DEPTH

    Personality: Tyrath is a mighty and superior being, and so, arrogance comes naturally to him. He feels contempt for the weak and very easily dismisses those he considers to be inferior to him. It's difficult to become close to him as his heart has turned to stone over the years of his existence. He doesn't trust anyone but himself and doesn't rely on anyone but himself. He's largely independent and has his own plans and agenda to continue with. Deep down however, he's extremely lonely and carries a soft and weak spot for the dragons of his era that fell to the Dragon slayers. In this way he has extreme hatred for Dragon slayers and doesn't believe humans deserve the power in which dragons posses.

    In battle, Tyrath is fierce, using his brute strength to overpower his opponents completely. As a Dragon there isn't much that really effects him apart from light Dragon slayer magic. He enjoys a good battle and will play with his opponent until he's bored with them. He's creative and thinks light on his feet, making him an extremely adaptable fighter. When times get tough for him he doesn't give up and is fearless, in a serious fight he never backs down from a challenge. However he knows when a battle is won or lost and isn't without mercy. If he sees no point in a battle, he wont partake in it, and if he's already won against someone and sees no purpose in ending their life he'd prefer to keep them alive as a witness to his power.

    When people do get close to him he is very protective of them and will fight tooth and nail for them. When alone, he often broods and goes over his plans, trying to find connections and searching for other dragons. When surrounded by people, he keeps to himself, not concerned with the trivial matters of others until disturbed.

    Tyrath has a lot of experience in living with different creatures and in different ways due to his shape-shifting power and so he easily picks up on the personalities of people and their motives. This makes him a very perceptive being and one not to fool with. No one ever gets second chances with him, so once you break what you've got, you'll never get it back.



    Likes: (3 minimum)
    -Summer: Where his power is at its peak and he is the warmest
    -Food: Loves eating, he has a dragon sized appetite after all
    -Dragon-kin: Since dragons are rare now, he enjoys seeing others of his kind and would try to befriend them so they may aid him on his quest

    Dislikes: (3 minimum)
    -Winter: It's too dark during the winter and his power is at its lowest
    -Stronger Beings: Doesn't like being outclassed, even by other dragons
    -Dragon Slayers: He deems them as vile creatures that don't deserve their power, he sees it as a personal offence and an insult to dragon power.

    Fears: (3 minimum)
    -Dragon Slayers: Since they have the power to harm him
    -The dark: Yes, he's scared of the dark. Because he's weaker during the night and it will likely result in death when facing a strong opponent and his resources are depleted. When night falls he generally finds a safe place to be and always tries to sleep.
    -Captivity/Oppression: Tyrath is a free soul and doesn't like being tied down or locked up or oppressed. What happened to his people haunts him every day and would like to repay the humans in kind for what they did.

    Motivations/Goals: (3 minimum)
    -Re-establish Dragon power and dominance: He would like nothing more than for things to go back to the way things were before the war. Things would be peaceful and he'd be once again deemed as one of the strongest of his kind without fear of being hunted down by dragon slayers.
    -Destroy all Dragon slayers: So that none can stand in his way of re-establishing dragon power
    -Control human populace: So that he can bring them back down to their place. He hates the humans for their abuse of the dragons generosity of giving them dragon magic.

    APPEARANCE

    Scale Colour: Solar yellow
    Eye colour: Deep purple
    Body structure: Rigid and thorny, his scales are large and plate like which acts as natural protection. He has large wings which take large beats and cause great bursts of wind whenever he wishes to take off. His wingspan (from one side to the other) is equal to the length of his head to tail. He has large talon like claws and a large tail which like the rest of his body is covered in large plate like scales. His head is large and fierce baring sharp teeth, which are seemingly always exposed due to his boney/plate like scales, resembling large sharpened bones.

    Tyrath Life ISwbQRZVP9A

    Human form;

    Hair: White
    Eyes: Lavender
    Skin Tone: Pale
    Height: 6'2 ft
    Weight: 18 lbs
    Overall Appearances: Tall, lean, and handsome.

    Tyrath Life Latest?cb=20131202044755

    OTHER

    Guild: None
    Guild Tattoo: N/A


    Last edited by Life on Thu Nov 12, 2015 12:20 am; edited 2 times in total
    Amaterasu
    Amaterasu

    Tyrath Life ODFYPdI

    Posts : 105
    Join date : 2015-09-16

    Tyrath Life Empty Re: Tyrath Life

    Post by Amaterasu Sun Nov 01, 2015 12:46 pm

    Hello there, my name is Amaterasu, I will be the staff member that will be looking at your application, please understand that this grading is not at all against you at all, we have a set of rules we have set up for character creation, do not worry if anything stands out I will do all that I can to help make it possible to still have a fun time on this site, with that said let us get started.


    NAME OF CHARACTER: Tyrath Life

    NICK NAME HERE: Ray
    AGE HERE: 400+
    BIRTHDAY HERE: The First Era
    SPECIES HERE: Dragon-Human
    RANK HERE: 
    ALLEGIANCE HERE: Dragons
    GENDER HERE: Male

    There are a few issues with this, I will break it down piece by piece. First off your First name to age are just fine, we do have a limit on age for various reasons as we don't want humans to be like 5,000 years old but given your specific species I will allow the 400 years old however, please remove the +, we need a specific number not a range. Your Birthday needs to actually be the month and day, first era means nothing as it is vague to the time.  Your species is just fine however, it does need to be explained but I will get to that when we get to that section. You can not leave rank blank, at all times unless a staff member says otherwise your application starts off at D rank. Allegiance is not done right as well, by this section we want to know your character's standings, In other words are they Good, Neutral, or Evil. There are several versions of each allegiance, Lawful Good, Neutral Good, Chaotic Good, Lawful Neutral, Neutral Neutral, Chaotic Neutral, Lawful Evil, Neutral Evil, Chaotic Evil. This basically explains who your character is and where they stand on the site. Your Gender is fine.  Another issue with this here is you don't really need the "Here" in these sections you could just put it as "Nickname:" and so forth the "Here" isn't needed.


    Quotes and Sources Used to Back this up can be found here:
    "Under Allegiance put the character's allegiance in otherwords Lawful Good, Neutral Good, Chaotic Good, Lawful Neutral, Neutral Neutral, Chaotic Neutral, Lawful Evil, Neutral Evil, Chaotic Evil."


    "Under Birthday, put the character's birthday, the year number doesn't really matter" 


    "Under Rank put the character's rank unless otherwise noted should always be D-Rank"

    This can all be found here: Character Template


    Perk 1- Light Dragon: Tyrath being a light Dragon, has the ability to concentrate and manipulate light. This makes him strongest in the noon, and weakest in the evening. He can absorb light from any source to power him much like anyone with Dragon slayer magic and can even store light inside of him to unleash later. As a Dragon he is also immune to all forms of magic except Dragon magic and is highly resilient to physical attacks. Flying is also natural.


    Unfortunately this is too much like the Holy Slayer magic, and a magic as a whole, also using the term immunity is very limited and very hard to get approved.  Perks only apply to your character not your magic, you also have too many things listed in this perk.  This is not allowed you are only allowed to have one perk per ability, so Flight would be one, your light absorption would be one, and your resistance to physical attacks would be one, that equals three perks that is not allowed. Please go back and fix this so that it is only one perk, if you would like flight I can link you to the rules of flight so you have a better understanding of what is allowed.


    Link to Flight Rules:


    Perk 2- Shape-shifter: Tyrath was one of the only dragons to survive the great war of his past. This was due to his shape-shifting abilities which allowed him to stay hidden and safe. He can shape-shift into any type of creature he has seen and can replicate general mannerisms of that species (be it swimming, breathing under water etc.) However once he chooses to shape-shift he is stuck in that form for a full day until he can absorb enough light to have the power to change back. This is also a downside as whatever form he is in, restricts his power to a degree. When in human form, his power is great, but no where near his original power; being stronger than that of a regular Dragon slayer, but weaker than an actual Dragon. 

    This ability is not allowed what so ever as it has several perks in it much like the others.  First off, shape shifting is fine but you can't shape shift into what ever you look at and mimic it's properties like gills and wings and what not those are perks of themselves and not fair what so ever you, can shape shift all you like but it would only be appearance and would have to be once per post.  Also you can't claim to be stronger than dragon slayers, that is beyond vague nor is this even relevant to being a perk, please go back and fix this ability.  If you need an example of a good shape shifting ability here is a link to an app for you to look at to get a better understanding for shape shifting.


    Link for Shape Shifting Example:


    One last thing I will say about this section is that it needs a bit of an explanation on your your species as Dragon human is very vague in words, please add an explanation here.


    Tyrath is a giant Dragon, much larger than regular dragons. When in human form his skin seems to be rather shiny and gleams in the light, this is because of his light Dragon scales. He also has a large burn mark on his back, a reminder of a past battle with another Dragon. Being a shape-shifting Dragon, he has a large pool of knowledge of different creatures and their behavioural patterns. Studying the different ways in which animals behave makes him a very charming and cunning being. 
     


    Sorry but none of these are Special Characteristics, these revolve around specific appearances on your character such as wings, scars, tattoos, piercings, not how your character acts or even the size of your character though having a character that scales the size of a dragon is also not allowed we have a 12ft rule which we asked to be followed. Please fix this whole section. 


     Tyrath is a mighty and superior being, and so, arrogance comes naturally to him. He feels contempt for the weak and very easily dismisses those he considers to be inferior to him. It's difficult to become close to him as his heart has turned to stone over the years of his existence. He doesn't trust anyone but himself and doesn't rely on anyone but himself. He's largely independent and has his own plans and agenda to continue with. Deep down however, he's extremely lonely and carries a soft and weak spot for the dragons of his era that fell to the Dragon slayers. In this way he has extreme hatred for Dragon slayers and doesn't believe humans deserve the power in which dragons posses. 


    In battle, Tyrath is fierce, using his brute strength to overpower his opponents completely. As a Dragon there isn't much that really effects him apart from light Dragon slayer magic. He enjoys a good battle and will play with his opponent until he's bored with them. He's creative and thinks light on his feet, making him an extremely adaptable fighter. 

    When people do get close to him he is very protective of them and will fight tooth and nail for them. When alone, he often broods and goes over his plans, trying to find connections and searching for other dragons. When surrounded by people, he keeps to himself, not concerned with the trivial matters of others until disturbed. 

    Tyrath has a lot of experience in living with different creatures and in different ways due to his shape-shifting power and so he easily picks up on the personalities of people and their motives. This makes him a very perceptive being and one not to fool with. No one ever gets second chances with him, so once you break what you've got, you'll never get it back. 


    First and foremost, this does not meet the word count, we have a minimum of 350WC you only have 310WC, please have at least 40WC more.  Now then on to the actual part of the personality grading. "As a Dragon there isn't much that really effects him apart from light Dragon slayer magic"  This is not going to be allowed at all, you are a Dragon, Dragon slayer magic does double damage to you no matter what as it is physically meant to slay dragons, as such this part of your personality is not allowed, please fix this. "Tyrath has a lot of experience in living with different creatures and in different ways due to his shape-shifting power and so he easily picks up on the personalities of people and their motives."   This is known as god mod, which is the action of which one who does not abide rules and can read and tell a members every move to dodge and auto hit.  You can not know the personality of people and their motivs unless they physically tell you themselves or you have been in threads with them for a long time which may hint at what they are like as a person, also your shape shifting ability was denied so this part also needs fixing, please edit this as well.


    Likes: (3 minimum)

    -Summer
    -Food
    -Dragon-kin

    Dislikes: (3 minimum)
    -Winter and anything cold and dark
    -Stronger Beings: Doesn't like being outclassed, even by other dragons
    -Dragon Slayers: Vile creatures that don't deserve power

    Fears: (3 minimum)
    -Light Dragon Slayers: Since they have the power to harm him
    -Death: He doesn't want to die before he sees a new dawn of dragons
    -The dark: Yes, he's scared of the dark. Because he's weaker during the night and it will likely result in death when facing a strong opponent and his resources are depleted. 


    Motivations/Goals: (3 minimum)
    -Re-establish Dragon power and dominance 
    -Destroy all Dragon slayers so that none can stand in his way
    -Control human populace to bring them back to what they used to be, cattle.

    Please add explanation to all the sections at least a one sentence explaining why your character likes this, dislikes that, fears this, and is motivated by that.  Also Death is a pretty generic fear, please go and fix this for me and think of something else.


    Tyrath Life ISwbQRZVP9A

    I'm just gonna go ahead and say this needs dimensions like height, width, length, ect.  An image doesn't help with anything, and as explained before we only have a 12ft maximum height rule with character height so any large numbers would not be allowed so your dragon form would be rather tiny in comparison to an actual dragon.


    Hair: White
    Eyes: Lavender
    Skin Tone: Pale 
    Height: 6'2
    Weight: 82kg
    Overall Appearances: Tall, lean, and handsome.


    Height is 6'2. . .uh 6'2 what? we do everything in ft and in so please edit it to match this.  Weight needs to be in pounds please, 82kg is not an acceptable weight unit on this site, please convert to lbs.


    OTHER

    Guild: None
    Guild Tattoo: N/A


    This is fine


    So overall your application needs a lot of work, but no worries, if you need help you can always privately message me, I have provided several source links for you to look at that may help you in the long run, I advise that you look at character applications to get a better understanding of what an approved character will consist of.  I look forward to seeing your edits, have a nice day.  
    Life
    Life

    Tyrath Life ODFYPdI

    Posts : 7
    Join date : 2015-10-23
    Age : 31

    Tyrath Life Empty Re: Tyrath Life

    Post by Life Thu Nov 12, 2015 12:20 am

    1. Tyrath IS a dragon with a human form, not vice versa. If i was to point out that he has teeth claws, wings and magic as perks i wouldnt be able to actually be a dragon would i. It's like telling someone to list their arms as a perk, he's a dragon, dragons have wings and claws and teeth, and magic.

    2. This is a non-cannon rp so i assumed it would be fine having light dragon magic i dont see how it should affect any of this at all. I'd also like to point out that dragon slayer magic came from dragons, so its not unusual that dragon magic functions similarly to dragon slayer magic.

    3. Dragons as a species are immune to all forms of magic except dragon slayer magic but i guess this is non-cannon so it doesnt count?

    4. I wasn't sure of the time line of this site so i left a minimum for age and birth year blank

    5. Compared to a dragon shapeshifting into other things shouldnt really be any better than a dragon but i do see the utility being too 'op'? for being a perk, i guess? Seems like a useless perk now except for rp quality. Only really wanted it for the human form anyway.

    6. My country uses Kg and nothing specified it had to be lbs but i did the conversion for you. Added 'ft' next to 6'2 if that wasn't clear enough.

    7. I don't see how being perceptive is god modding. People think im a pretty perceptive person irl, does that make me a god?

    8. Added 40 words.

    9. Irl i am not afraid of dying but i guess for a lot of people it could be a common fear and seen as generic so i've changed it.

    10. A 12ft dragon isn't much of a dragon let alone a dragon that can barely fly because reasons, I'm pretty sure even a dragon-slayers dragon-force is bigger than that, should i even bother with this character?
    Axium 'War' Ikaru
    Axium 'War' Ikaru

    Tyrath Life FcB4idF

    Posts : 38
    Join date : 2015-09-07

    Tyrath Life Empty Re: Tyrath Life

    Post by Axium 'War' Ikaru Thu Nov 12, 2015 1:13 pm

    Ok to clarify a BIG thing here so you can understand, we are a Non-Cannon site but NOT a freeform or Sandbox site. We have a set standard of rules and regulations that should and will be followed. I do ask that you follow the guidelines that Ama has presented you so that your character can be approved as soon as possible. Thank you.
    Selenia
    Selenia

    Tyrath Life Qm1sqjP

    Posts : 760
    Join date : 2015-10-11
    Age : 29

    Tyrath Life Empty Re: Tyrath Life

    Post by Selenia Sat Nov 28, 2015 12:39 pm

    Bumping. If no response is made to this app within a week, app will be archived, thanks!

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